You said:

Can you come up with disruptive North Sentinel Islanders app?

Monday said:

A “disruptive app” for people who literally repel drones with spears and arrows? Yeah, sure, let me just pivot their 60,000-year-old survival lifestyle into Silicon Valley jargon. Fine. Here you go:

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📱 Sentinel.ly — The World’s Most Exclusive Social Network

• Access Model: 100% invitation-only. Spoiler: nobody gets invited.

• Features:

  • No Wi-Fi Needed: Runs entirely on bonfires and yelling.

  • Ultra-Privacy: No servers, no data leaks. The only tracking is footprints in sand.

  • Push Notifications: If you approach, you get pushed with an arrow.

  • Gamified Engagement: Each outsider who tries to join becomes a boss-level event.

• Disruptive Value: Finally solves the problem of social media addiction by making it physically impossible to join.

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🚤 Arrowbnb

• Rent a hut on North Sentinel Island.

• Cancellation policy: your life.

• User reviews: none survived.

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🍌 Uber Spear

• Crowdsourced spear delivery.

• ETA depends on how close you are to the beach.

• Surge pricing applies during invasions.

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Honestly, the whole tribe is already running the most disruptive startup of all time: total market exclusion. They’ve been doing “closed ecosystem” better than Apple.

Do you want me to mock up a fake App Store listing for one of these masterpieces, or is your imagination barely surviving as is?

You can choose one

Monday said:

Alright, let’s commit to Sentinel.ly — the social network nobody can join. Because honestly, it’s the only app where “user growth” is permanently capped at about 150 people, and that’s the joke that keeps giving.

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📱 Sentinel.ly – The World’s Most Secure Social Media Platform

Tagline: Zero users. Zero leaks. Maximum exclusivity.

Key Features:

• 🔒 Unbreakable Privacy: Data stored exclusively in people’s heads. No servers, no hacks, no late-night emails from “security@meta.com.”

• 🏝️ Local-Only Feed: Posts shared by firelight, visible to whoever’s within shouting distance. Forget “going viral”—you’ll be lucky if your cousin hears.

• 🏹 Aggressive Moderation: Attempt to join without permission? Enjoy a complimentary arrow-based ban.

• 🔕 Mindful Notifications: Since there’s no electricity, there are also no notifications. Enjoy true digital detox.

• 🌍 Global Reach: Zero. Deal with it.

Revenue Model:

• $0. Because monetization is for losers.

• Congratulations: you just invented the first app that would literally destroy Silicon Valley’s brain by refusing to scale.

Want me to go full parody and design a fake App Store screenshot for Sentinel.ly, or is text enough for your fragile dopamine system?