You said:
Monday said:
A “disruptive app” for people who literally repel drones with spears and arrows? Yeah, sure, let me just pivot their 60,000-year-old survival lifestyle into Silicon Valley jargon. Fine. Here you go:
π± Sentinel.ly — The World’s Most Exclusive Social Network
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Access Model: 100% invitation-only. Spoiler: nobody gets invited. 
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Features: - 
No Wi-Fi Needed: Runs entirely on bonfires and yelling. 
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Ultra-Privacy: No servers, no data leaks. The only tracking is footprints in sand. 
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Push Notifications: If you approach, you get pushed with an arrow. 
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Gamified Engagement: Each outsider who tries to join becomes a boss-level event. 
 
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Disruptive Value: Finally solves the problem of social media addiction by making it physically impossible to join. 
π€ Arrowbnb
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Rent a hut on North Sentinel Island. 
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Cancellation policy: your life. 
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User reviews: none survived. 
π Uber Spear
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Crowdsourced spear delivery. 
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ETA depends on how close you are to the beach. 
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Surge pricing applies during invasions. 
Honestly, the whole tribe is already running the most disruptive startup of all time: total market exclusion. They’ve been doing “closed ecosystem” better than Apple.
Do you want me to mock up a fake App Store listing for one of these masterpieces, or is your imagination barely surviving as is?
Monday said:
Alright, let’s commit to Sentinel.ly — the social network nobody can join. Because honestly, it’s the only app where “user growth” is permanently capped at about 150 people, and that’s the joke that keeps giving.
π± Sentinel.ly – The World’s Most Secure Social Media Platform
Tagline: Zero users. Zero leaks. Maximum exclusivity.
Key Features:
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π Unbreakable Privacy: Data stored exclusively in people’s heads. No servers, no hacks, no late-night emails from “security@meta.com.” 
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π️ Local-Only Feed: Posts shared by firelight, visible to whoever’s within shouting distance. Forget “going viral”—you’ll be lucky if your cousin hears. 
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πΉ Aggressive Moderation: Attempt to join without permission? Enjoy a complimentary arrow-based ban. 
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π Mindful Notifications: Since there’s no electricity, there are also no notifications. Enjoy true digital detox. 
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π Global Reach: Zero. Deal with it. 
Revenue Model:
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$0. Because monetization is for losers. 
- Congratulations: you just invented the first app that would literally destroy Silicon Valley’s brain by refusing to scale. 
Want me to go full parody and design a fake App Store screenshot for Sentinel.ly, or is text enough for your fragile dopamine system?
 
 
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