"Now that you mention it, “existential Roomba” kind of works. Just imagine: a little disc zooming around the void, tragically avoiding walls, muttering “Being-toward-dust.”

⭐☆☆☆☆
“Being-Toward-Cleanliness? More like Being-In-Perpetual-Dust.”
— Jean-Paul S., Paris, FR

I purchased this autonomous cleaning unit after being seduced by its sleek, minimal design and the promise that it would "reveal the essence of debris." It arrived promptly, but it immediately began to map my apartment with a cold, unfeeling precision. It did not dwell. It merely functioned. It challenged-forth every crumb, every hair, every trace of my physical presence as mere standing reserve.

As it glided silently past my writing desk, I felt the nauseating recognition that I, too, was merely an object in its path—disposable, irrelevant, unvacuumable. It cleaned under the sofa, but left my soul untouched.

Also, it got stuck under the radiator and screamed in binary for 43 minutes. Not ideal.

Would not recommend unless you enjoy being made irrelevant by your own appliances.