comment thread

@afish40863 years ago

8:00 - (content advisory for sexual assault, suicide, medical abuse)

When I was 18, I was raped multiple times in different instances by strangers (I had just moved to a new city, and I guess this stuff just happens sometimes) but after the third time, I decided enough was enough and I went to the hospital to have a rape kit done. I had told the nurse that the whole situation "made me want to die" because I was so hurt and stressed by it all. Next thing I know, I am being involuntarily admitted to a psych ward several miles away without any time to pack or even prepare. I was subjected to non-consensual electroshock therapy, solitary confinement (for crying??) and put on a slurry of drugs that sent me into anaphylactic shock. I was held down by several people and given an emergency antihistamine administration with (to put it bluntly) a needle in the ass. In the stupor following waking up from that, I was forced to sign paperwork that I wasn't even given a chance to read - liability waivers.

 
That psych wing has since been shut down for malpractice. The world can be cartoonishly cruel, and I firmly believe that every stranger I come across could have plausibly experienced some aspect of it. Be kind, be gentle, and try to see the vulnerability in everyone you interact with - including yourself. It'd be a damn shame if everyone got to experience your kindness except for you. I don't really have a point to any of this. I guess it's just nice to talk about it. Thank you for listening (reading?). Please stay safe.


@belladonna84253 years ago
Anything signed while drugged and unable to make an informed decision, which shouldn't be hard to prove, isn't legally binding. You should sue the shit out of them. Im so sorry you went through that.


@daimhinaubrey31943 years ago
sorry to hear about what happened to you. it sounds horrific. you are so brave and strong, i hope you are doing well. i have my own share of horror stories from psych wards (from the head doctor bringing underage female patients to his flat to ‘treat’ them with LSD to medical staff drugging patients as a form of ‘punishment’) and one of the most horrific things i’ve witnessed was the whole team of nurses making patients kick, slap and bully a mentally challenged, drugged person and threatening them (the patients) “you’ll be in their place if you displease us” i was fucking horrified. i suppose because i was “a fresh arrival” and nobody knew what was ‘wrong’ with me, they couldn’t threaten me the same way (to clarify: i was only supposed to be there for 3 days only so technically they couldn’t fuck me up or they’d have to face consequences) so when i crouched in front of this poor person, helping them to get up and walked them to their bed, i swear i could feel the staff burning holes in my skull. that place still operates. the last time i was in a psych ward, a person i met there had been to jail twice before and she said literal prison was a walk in the park compared to these “mental health facilities”. the abuse of the mentally ill is truly one of the biggest issues that’s swept under the rug.



@daimhinaubrey3194

It's very hard to NOT do as you're told in this kind of situations. I myself don't know if I would have the guts to do the right thing. But you did. You're very brave as well




@jaggedjaws15862 years ago

Thank you for sharing 



@josephbelisle57921 year ago
You made a critical point. No civil society should have caused you suffering like this. Especially from the part that is supposed to help. I'm sorry. And you are not alone. My history is similar to yours.



@hobocode1 year ago (edited)
This happened to me too. You are not alone. Every detail. SA, seeking helping, admitting ideation, forced ECT, imprisonment, solitary confinement, and forced drugging. All because I was sad. I was a teenager. I'm almost 40 now. I have never been "mentally ill" in my life. I am more rational, courageous, and sane than just about anyone I have ever met. But that doesn't matter. In this world, complaining and crying are not allowed. Period. There is no "legitimate" reason to be displeased in any way. All emotions are pathology. Even good ones. If I showed hopefulness or idealism, it was seen as mania. You can't win. Nothing has changed since Nellie Bly did her expose. The only difference is that society views psych doctors with the same regard that priests used to get in the 70's. No one believes those kids. Just as no one believes survivors like us. Hopefully the day will come, just as it did with priests, that the world will start to believe. The reckoning is coming slowly for the police who also operate with total impunity. But psych doctors are still regarded as beyond questioning by most ordinary people. So us psych survivors just need to.... I guess accept our permanent destruction. And know nothing we do will ever change our status in society. I tried to join a class actions lawsuit for the ECTs. The lawyer said, "I'm sorry we only accept dead clients. If you are alive, it's too easy for you to be torn apart and discredited. If you are dead, there is a small amount of social faux pas where people won't speak ill of the dead." It's not fun to know that the only path to having your humanity restored is to become a corpse. But... here we are.