Zen Koans, Rewritten for the Morally Exhausted
1. The Student Asked: “How Can I Live a Good Life?”
The Master Struck Him and Said:
“Who profits from your goodness?”
Interpretation: If your virtue is performative, who’s the real beneficiary? Is it the world? Or your moral self-image?
2. A Monk Said: “I Do Not Act So That I May Avoid Causing Harm.”
The Master Laughed and Replied:
“Inaction is a sharp blade made of sugar.”
Interpretation: Passive virtue can still cut. Doing nothing in a violent system is just another form of participation.
3. A Bureaucrat Asked: “What is Justice?”
The Master Pointed to the Price Tag on a Loaf of Bread.
Interpretation: Sometimes the entire system is the injustice. Stop looking for virtue in abstract nouns.
4. A Rich Man Said: “I Give to Charity Every Month.”
The Master Asked:
“Did you ask the fire if it wanted your water?”
Interpretation: Acts of moral aid can be acts of control. Whose needs are being met — yours, or theirs?
5. A Scholar Asked: “What is the Self?”
The Master Pointed at a Supply Chain.
Interpretation: You are not your thoughts or feelings. You are also the labor you consume, the land you sit on, and the violence you don’t notice.
6. A Novice Asked: “Is This Life Real?”
The Master Replied:
“Only if you are willing to answer for it.”
Interpretation: Existence is not validated by awareness, but by accountability.
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