These are two deep questions that touch on psychology, philosophy, and sociology. The short answer to both is "often, but not always."

On your first question: Is everyone a hero in their own narrative?

Many people do see themselves as fundamentally justified in their actions. Psychology suggests that we naturally create stories that make sense of our lives, emphasizing our good intentions and minimizing our faults. Even people who do terrible things often explain them to themselves as necessary, deserved, or forced upon them.

But not everyone experiences themselves as the hero. Some people see themselves as failures, villains, burdens, or victims. Depression, trauma, abuse, and shame can profoundly shape someone's self-narrative. So it's more accurate to say that everyone has a narrative, but they are not always the hero within it.

On your second question: Does everything start with bad parents who are, in turn, programmed by a bad system?

There's a meaningful sense in which our parents are our first environment. They shape:

• how safe or unsafe the world feels,
• how we relate to others,
• what emotions are acceptable,
• our expectations of ourselves.

But parents don't exist in isolation. They are influenced by:

• how they were raised,
• economic pressures,
• cultural values,
• education,
• trauma,
• political systems,
• community,
• biology and temperament.

In that sense, parents are not blank slates freely choosing everything they do. They are products of many forces themselves. This idea appears in developmental psychology, sociology, and family systems theory: patterns often pass from one generation to the next unless something interrupts them.

That said, describing people as "programmed" can be useful as a metaphor, but it's incomplete. Humans aren't computers. We have habits, conditioning, and unconscious influences, yet we also have varying capacities for reflection and change. Some people break cycles of abuse or neglect despite difficult beginnings. Others repeat them.

When you say, "this is how many are destroyed," there is truth in the observation that early environments can have lifelong consequences. Childhood adversity is strongly associated with later mental and physical health problems, relationship difficulties, and other challenges. However, "destroyed" may overstate the inevitability. Many people carry deep wounds without being defined entirely by them, and healing, while often difficult, is possible.

A balanced way to think about it is:

• We don't choose the family or society we're born into.
• Those circumstances profoundly shape us.
• The people who shape us were themselves shaped.
• Understanding those influences can foster compassion.
• Understanding them doesn't erase responsibility or make change impossible.

It's a tension between determinism (we are shaped by causes beyond our control) and agency (we retain some capacity to choose). Most psychologists and philosophers today would say both are real: our freedom is constrained, but not absent.