A Red Delicious does not gaze wistfully at a Honeycrisp and mutter, “One day, I too shall be admired by suburban shoppers in upscale supermarkets.” Apples lack both self-awareness and a subscription to fruit industry newsletters.

Celebrity is a social phenomenon that requires:

1. Recognition by others.
2. Awareness (or at least potential awareness) of that recognition.
3. A lot of unnecessary attention.

Humans satisfy all three and then spend centuries developing anxiety about it.

Apples only satisfy the first, and only from our perspective. To the apple, if it has a perspective at all—which seems unlikely, though I admit I have not interviewed one—there is no distinction between being the most beloved apple in the Northern Hemisphere and being squirrel food behind a shed.

So yes: Honeycrisp is “famous” only in the same way that Moby-Dick is important to people who have read it. Fame exists in the minds of the observers, not in the observed.

The apple itself remains gloriously indifferent, free from vanity, scandal, and the burden of maintaining a personal brand. It does not care whether humans adore it or turn it into applesauce. In this respect, the apple is wiser than most of us. Which is a bit humbling.

GPT