Herman

"Under ordinary conditions of peace, I would suggest that shame is one of the primary regulators of social relations. Fear is the primary regulator only in circumstances where social structures for maintaining peace have broken down and social relations are ruled by violence''.

Judith Herman

"Hennighausen and Lyons-Ruth(2005) propose that as humans have evolved “from biologic to dialogic” relational modes, the attachment system has been “partially displaced from its primate base”. Emotional sharing and signalling become the primary mode for regulating security of attachment. The infant preferentially seeks out the care-giver who best knows her mind and is most attuned to her emotional signals. She also learns to imagine how others think of her, to become self-conscious.

The child learns that shame states do not signify complete disruption of attachment bonds and that they can be regulated. Through repeated experiences of this kind, the child and care-taker learn to negotiate emotional attunement and mutuality in their relationship. Where no corrective relational process takes place, pathological variations in the attachment system can develop. In particular, we see disorganized attachment where the primary attachment figure is a source of fear. I would argue that we also see disorganized attachment where the primary attachment figure is a source of unremitting shame. In this case, the child is torn between need for emotional attunement and fear of rejection or ridicule. She forms an internal working model of relationship in which her basic needs are inherently shameful''.

Judith Herman

"To hold traumatic reality in consciousness requires a social context that affirms and protects the victim and that joins the victim and witness in a common alliance. For the individual victim, this social context is created by relationships...For the larger society, the social context is created by political movements that give voice to the disempowered''.

Judith Herman