dpdr

"Every time we recall a memory, or “re-access” it, we are changing it. When we recall, reflect, and more importantly write about our past experiences and weave them into a personal narrative or life story, we can actually change the way we feel about our life. In every memory, especially highly emotional memories, there are two components: the facts, and the emotions.

Living requires reflection, in days of yore this work was much more integral to our experience as humans. We lived in tribes where constant story telling and socialization led to the immediate integration of pain and traumatic experiences".

In today’s dissociogenic culture it’s important to keep a journal regularly, and to express your emotions on a regular basis, even after you have worked over...past problems".

"If you were able to think and reflect on your trauma, you wouldn’t have DP (aside from anxiety and obsession). In a way it’s almost circular. But being aware of your own life situation can take some study and growth. It may be uncomfortable to face certain elements of your life".

"For people with depersonalization disorder, what usually happens is that a more mild form of stress occurs. This form of trauma is more complex, and occurs over a period of time. In essence, it is accumulated trauma. This could be when a parent puts you in a constant state of guilt for years, it could be when you were verbally abused by someone day after day. Parents who are “too busy” and neglect their children also inflict this abuse.

It could also be not having someone there to support you when...stressed.

In Depersonalization Disorder, the trauma can be extremely subtle, and almost not appear to be traumatic. It could be a mother who was just a “tad distant”, or father who just made you uncomfortable a lot around others.

People with DPD usually have sensitive personality types, or are “highly sensitive people”. (see my Depersonalization and Personality article/video for a further discussion on the topic.) For sensitive people, the threshold stress level for trauma is much lower.

In a minority of DPD cases, people acquire the disorder in their youth. These instances are usually because of more severe abuse, such as sexual abuse, physical abuse, or more severe emotional abuse. These types of people may also experience more severe dissociative disorders like Borderline Personality Disorder, or Dissociative Identity Disorder.

The Hippocampus and Dissociative Disorders

There have been brain studies on people with different forms of dissociation, showing that people with more severe disorders have more hippocampal atrophy. The hippocampus is an important brain region for emotional processing. One of its functions is to put the “break” on the stress response.

When our hippocampus is weak, it can be difficult to stop the fear part of the brain (the amygdala) from firing...Of course I’m generalizing, but this is...what happens in people who suffer from PTSD. They come back from war, and may hear a car back fire. But what happens?...The fear center fires...as though it were a bomb going off.

We have two forms of memory: implicit emotional, and explicit verbal. The startle response is when our fear center fires...immediately. In people with a healthy hippocampus, a contextual and verbal part of the mind says “oh hey, its not a bomb, but a car backfiring!”. 

In Depersonalization Disorder there isn’t as much hippocampal damage. In fact, it’s probably extremely mild compared to PTSD. And as I mentioned before, the cells of the hippocampus that have been damaged from excessive chronic stress can regrow". 

Depersonalization is a result of complex/cumulative trauma, not single events

One of the big differences between PTSD and DPD is that depersonalization is usually not caused by a single traumatic event, but rather a series of more mild events, or a traumatic life situation. This is why coming from a subtly dysfunctional family is often the cause. You may not have been physically abused, but perhaps psychologically abused or neglected in such a way that you don’t even recognize your own abuse.

This type of complex trauma is a relatively new diagnostic category that is going to be included in the DSM V. It’s called C-PTSD. In many ways, depersonalization disorder is a form of Complex Post Traumatic Stress.

Rumination is different from Trauma Processing

Being constantly filled with regret and pain about the past is not the goal of trauma processing. In fact, that’s the opposite of the goal. The goal is to process your past so that you can move on..."

HH