It is not yet entirely clear what causes DPDR. Nevertheless, from the texts I have read, people with DPDR very often experience an emotional trauma in their childhood, from child abuse, family violence, constant screaming or fighting, alcoholism etc.
As a case in point, my childhood was also full of traumatic experiences. In my case, these experiences relate to the loveless and unstable family environment I grew up in, mostly caused by my parents’ alcoholism and never-ending fighting.
Detachment from reality works as kind of defence against the constant stress and pain. The brain creates a protective bubble, which expresses itself as emotional detachment and detachment from the outside world, leaving you somewhat immune to the constant pain. In fact, your brain tries to be your buddy, tries to help you. As a side-effect, however, you become detached not only from the targeted stress-factors, but also from everything else. This protective bubble may stay even after the end of the trauma, leading to DPDR.
Am I going “crazy”? Am I losing control of myself? It got to the point where I couldn’t bear it anymore. With the help and massive support of my friend Petra, I visited the Crisis Center of the Psychiatric Clinic in my university town Brno. That’s where I first heard about the still very little-known depersonalization-derealization disorder (DPDR), which has been part of my life since then.
Over the course of time, for example, I have been occasionally troubled by the meaning of words. It is hard to describe, but the words in my head often seem unknown, meaningless somehow. And so you ask yourself, how can I communicate with someone when I do not understand words? In reality, however, I do not have a communication problem, it is again just a certain feeling, DPDR playing with me.
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