We come to recognize our feelings, qualities, and inner experience partly because someone else sees, names, and responds to them accurately.

One nuance: “accurately reflected” is especially important. Mirroring isn’t simply receiving attention or validation; it is being seen in a way that feels congruent with our actual internal experience. When that happens consistently, another person effectively helps us develop a coherent answer to the question, “Who am I?”

It also points to the converse: when our inner reality is repeatedly misread, dismissed, or distorted by significant others, we may learn to distrust our own perceptions and construct a sense of self around what others tell us we are.